Teach Yourself How to Be Happy
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. Yes, this is pseudoscience bullshit, but it has worked for me. I genuinely hope it works for you. One of the most amazing parts of happiness is it is different for everyone. Everyone has different feelings about the word happiness. Sometimes it gets confused with success. Ultimately feeling happy is an incredible feeling. So even though happiness is different, we all have some steps to take to live a happier life.
Happiness works like a skill; you have to work at it. It’s the only way you can build that emotion. If you’re not used to feeling happy, you’ll struggle to be okay with feeling happy. This is actually the first step in working that skill into something better. Realize it’s okay to be happy.
Sometimes we get so stuck in the day to day we don’t take time to appreciate ourselves. Even though you’re not where you want to be, you should be proud of the effort you put in to get it done. Be proud of yourself, damn it. I’m proud of you.
Be Proud of Yourself
It doesn’t make you narcissistic to be proud of who you are. This is the biggest thing I had to learn. Loving yourself does not make you self-centered. It makes you human. You should be proud of who you are. It took skill, effort, and time to become the person you are. Don’t discount that.
When you’re proud of who you are, you can tackle problems confidently. You will be your biggest proponent and stand up for yourself. Pride is not inherently a bad thing. What’s worse is thinking your shit doesn’t stink. You have to self-awareness to become a better and happier person. Understand that you have flaws, but always work on improving them. Be proud of that effort.
Every single person has insecurities; it is okay to have them. You should love your insecurities. They are a beautiful part of who you are. Learn to love them and work with them. Be proud of them. This is one exercise to do to stay happy:
Make a list. Write down what you are proud of each day. Anything and everything. Cover all the topics. Write down your insecurities. Then why you love those parts of yourself. Next, write down what you want to improve. Make a plan on how to improve and follow that plan. Be proud of the progress you’ve made.
Do this every day, and you’ll be shocked by how much progress you’ve made in just a few weeks.
Leave the Worry at Home
Ask yourself one simple question, ”Do I have to worry about this?” by asking yourself this, you can evaluate what is important in life. If it’s not going to set you back any time, don’t worry about it. It is not important. The worst part of life is we tend to bog ourselves down with unneeded stress and worry. This is especially true if you are a worrier. Sometimes the best thing to do in life is to unplug and let the waves hit you. Release yourself from the stress that controls you.
Now, I’m or talking about things that affect your life significantly. If you are worried you won’t have enough money for rent or to eat, that’s different. I’m talking about the customer that pissed you off at work or the fact that Natalee didn’t like your jeans. Life is too precious and too short to be worried about the little things. Throw the little things out the window. They don’t matter. Consider this, ”would you rather be happy worried?”
Learning that it’s okay not to care can be challenging. We spend our whole lives learning we have to care about everything. It’s simply not true. If you learn to care about the right things, you’ll be much happier. The right things are what is important to you as a person. Just drop the things that aren’t important. Here’s a super simple exercise that will help improve your outlook on worry:
Anytime something happens that causes stress or worry. Take a second to process the situation, then relax. Ask yourself, ” will this affect me today? How about tomorrow? Next week? Or next month? Will it ever affect me?” Answer the question and act accordingly.
This will allow you to prioritize your stress. You can avoid being eaten alive by it. Asking this question will funnel everything out. Leaving only what is important and what truly deserves your worry.
Let it Go, Man
Your happiness is too important to let anger get in the way. It happens so easily. Anger has a way of bottling up inside slowly, destroying your happiness. The easiest way to get rid of that anger and stop it from bottling up is to let it go. It sounds crazy, but you can just let anger and hurt go. You don’t have to let it affect you. You don’t have to let it control you. You don’t have to let it change you. Just let it go.
Learning to accept your anger and pain can be, well, a pain. It is worth it when you can. You’ll understand that it isn’t worth the effort of getting upset when it’s not important. A good point to this is, when you decide to move past it, it has to be in the past. You have to let it go and move forward. You can’t hold the old anger in your heart. It will just bring you down. Another point to this is, you are accepting and letting go of your emotional response. You are not accepting the behavior that made you feel that way. These are two very different things; you need to learn the difference.
Your happiness will thank you if you can let the negativity go. The only thing causing more hatred and pain is your emotional response. Let it go by follow this:
Take a minute to process what was said or done. Realize it was outside of your control. Understand you are in control of your response. Take a deep breath and let go. Push that thought out of your head. Forgive the action and forget what it made you feel. Don’t forget what happened. Move forward with knowing you controlled how you reacted. Push the negativity away and look at the behavior logically. Take steps to advise the person on how it upset you or cut that person out of your life if they are not changing.
When you let that anger go, you lift the weight off of yourself. You know you acted in the best possible way. This is key to happiness, knowing you did everything you could. Even if that outcome was not what you wanted. Happiness is letting go of hatred and moving forward. You are better than hate. You deserve happiness.
Be Positive
Change your mindset to include thoughts of positivity. Put a spin on everything to make it better. This is surprisingly easy to do. You have to make sure you make it a priority. When something happens, you have to understand sometimes that is just the way it is. Nothing you could do would change it. So you have to spin it into a positive event. Look at the silver lining in everything. It is always there.
Say your significant other cheated on you, and you decided to leave them. This is a heartbreaking situation for everyone involved. There are several ways to look at this, but the best way to look at it is you dodged a bullet. Your significant other showed they do not value you or your trust. You can walk away knowing it didn’t end because of you. You can feel good that you no longer are with someone who doesn’t value you. You could find someone that puts in the same love, trust, and effort as you. You’d be blown away by the amount of happiness that comes out of this approach. Yes, you will still feel bad. You will still feel hurt. This is normal and good. You need to grieve and feel this negativity. By using this approach, you will move forward in a faster, healthier way.
A good tool to hone this side of happiness is within all of us. You have to:
Understand you inherited a crappy situation. That doesn’t devalue who you are as a person. It devalues who they are. Look for all the positives. Say them out loud to yourself. Really believe in them.
This will help you hone the idea of: There is happiness in everything. Even if it doesn’t seem like it.
Keep Learning How to Be Better
At the end of the day, your happiness is contingent on you. When you take steps to become happier, every step is progress. Some days it will tear you down. Other days will make you feel amazing. The best step you can take is staying dedicated to getting better. Take these exercises, practice them, and turn them into your new reality. Hone the skill of happiness to have a happier life.
